Commitment to a deeply open heart and a deeply loving place within ourself will reveal to us, in time, a very simple and very profound insight. That insight is a realization that is one of the goals of tantric practice. In my own words, rather than in the language of esoteric Saivism or tantric Buddhism, the understanding is this: Life is a loving process. We have to realize, from the efforts we make inside ourselves, the loving process that is life attempting to express possibilities that are far greater than our ordinary human experience.
Life is a loving process that is self-existent. Our life isn't really ours; each of our lives is totally interconnected in the loving process that is life, that has a logic all its own and a direction of its own. If we are able, through our practice, to come to a profound state of harmony with it, we will understand its possibilities, which are mind-boggling, brain-breaking, unbelievable.
Part of what this understanding means is that we stop taking it personally and we stop trying to do stuff with it. Rather, we allow life to inform us because we are living in love within ourself and allowing that love to lead us through all of the various transformations we will have to undergo in order to to arrive at a place where the understanding and the palpable experience of life as a loving process begins to permeate every part of us. It releases within us and all around us a sweetness that is just...heaven.
Everything that happens for us, all of the various changes that we have to go through, is life trying to free us from our egotism, from our fear and anxiety, to begin to live in a place within ourselves where we can appreciate that life is a loving process. Then we no longer have to have an agenda. We don't have to be this thing or that thing. We are free within ourselves to allow that love to shape us and inform us of who we are and what pathways are available to us for expression to allow us to participate in the vastness of the loving process that life is.
So, the first thing is to be committed to a finer place within yourself. Every single day, no matter what change happens, let the change go. Don't make the ordinary response that human beings have which is to cop an attitude, close your heart, make some kind of stupid reaction and then bury yourself forever, basically. Instead, stay open and allow the love within yourself to lead you toward a new balance and a new alignment in the ever-shifting dynamic circumstance that is life as a loving process.